Justin Skinner on Changing the Perspective of Failure and Success

In this episode of the In the Rising podcast, host Bettina Brown welcomes guest Justin Skinner to discuss the power of changing our perspective on failure and success. Bettina introduces Justin as someone who shares his personal and professional experiences, shedding light on how a shift in perspective can transform one's current life and future.

Justin, a farm kid from the Midwest, grew up with a passion for both sports and the arts. He excelled in baseball during college and believed he was on track for a professional career in the sport. However, he faced a devastating rejection that deeply affected him.

Throughout their conversation, Bettina and Justin explore the topic of failure and delve into the benefits and growth opportunities it can provide. They discuss how changing one's perspective on failure can lead to a positive impact on personal and professional lives. Justin's story serves as a reminder that setbacks can be catalysts for growth and change.

Tune in to this episode to gain valuable insights and inspiration from Justin Skinner's journey as he shares his experiences and discusses the transformative power of shifting perspectives on failure and success.

Justin Skinner's Website

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Justin Skinner: And then, you know, the longer you go in, the more comfortable you get with learning from failure, because the goal is not failure. The goal is ultimately success. But in order to get there, you have to fail and learn from those failures.

[00:00:21] Bettina M Brown: Hello, hello, and welcome to In the Rising podcast. My name is Bettina Brown, and this is the platform I've chosen to talk about. Living a life that's in alignment with your hopes, your dreams, and your goals and turning your back from shame and blame or anything actually that doesn't move your life forward in the direction you want it to, or anything that doesn't turn your compass needle to your own true North.

[00:00:46] Bettina M Brown: And my guest today is Justin Skinner. He shares his professional experience. He shares his personal experiences on success and failure and how a perspective difference Can change the entire outlook for your current life and for your future to come. So I'm really excited for you to hear Justin Skinner story.

[00:01:08] Bettina M Brown: So I am really happy to have Justin Skinner here on, in the rising podcast, because you talk about something that I know a lot of us don't want to admit, want to talk about, and that is the benefit, the perspective change of. a failure. So, first of all, welcome to In the Rising. 

[00:01:33] Justin Skinner: Thanks for having me.

[00:01:34] Justin Skinner: It's a pleasure to be here. 

[00:01:37] Bettina M Brown: I read, you know, about you and I thought, huh, you know, I like, here's someone who's done a pivot and I don't want to tell the story, but why don't you share a little bit about that background? 

[00:01:52] Justin Skinner: Yeah, yeah. So, I grew up just a farm kid in the Midwest and always loved sports growing up.

[00:01:58] Justin Skinner: So, I played a lot of sports and then also loved the art side. So, I kind of had a, had my hand in both, which was maybe odd. Yeah. But I had a grandma who loved photography and then a lot of cousins who love sports. So, I did that and then wound up having some success in baseball and I played more baseball in college and thought it was leading to a professional career in baseball and then wound up getting completely rejected by baseball and it really hurt.

[00:02:24] Justin Skinner: So that was the first moment of big-time failure where, you know, you spend. 15, 16 years of your life training for something and hoping, and then when it doesn't work out it's pretty heartbreaking and it doesn't feel good at all. So, it really, it was the first time I thought of, you know, am I a failure and have everything I've done to this point?

[00:02:45] Justin Skinner: Is that just thrown out the window? What do I do now? So, I think leading to that point I had some really amazing people that obviously encouraged me along the way and kind of just kept walking forward and wound up getting a job after college. And it was actually, I graduated in 08 and I realized that getting a job is a lot harder than what I Figured it would be got the college degree, went out and said, Hey, I want to design job.

[00:03:09] Justin Skinner: And everyone said, Nope, you need two years’ experience. We can't hire you. So that was another big learning moment. But I think through that just kind of kept moving forward and walking forward and, and seeing what doors opened and wound up working for, I worked for a media company and did a free internship and got.

[00:03:27] Justin Skinner: Hired and then wound up working for a publishing company and then wound up getting fired. So that was the second one where I'm like, man, what am I doing wrong? Am I a failure in the corporate world? Just trying to find my way. And from that, my wife and I actually started our own business and we started a design company and photography company.

[00:03:46] Justin Skinner: And again, just kept moving forward, trying to figure out things together and just kind of put our heads down and work. And I think during that whole time. One of the things that really helps is we had a lot of amazing people around us and that poured into us and we could always, you know, look to for advice when we got in trouble.

[00:04:03] Justin Skinner: But again, we just, we just kind of know would pray and trust and hope for the best and keep moving forward. Full fast forward to the book wound up getting in a group, a mastermind with a bunch of other really neat guys and some other authors and being around encouraging people and having people pour into you and say, Hey, you can do this.

[00:04:25] Justin Skinner: I was not, I'll be completely honest. If you a year ago would have said, Hey, you're going to be a writer. Two years ago said, you're going to be a writer. You're going to write a book. I would say you're pretty crazy. But it wound up working out where I really enjoy the process of writing. And I enjoyed it from the first time.

[00:04:41] Justin Skinner: So I like to say, if I can write a book or, and I can, you know, wind up publishing a book, I feel like anyone can do it. And that's my encouragement. And anyone I talked to that says, how'd you write a book? How'd you do this? My first thing is like, “Hey, you can do it. I did it.” I really, I just had people show me the way and teach me.

[00:04:59] Justin Skinner: And it's just a matter of consistency and moving forward and going from there. 

[00:05:06] Bettina M Brown: Well, thank you for sharing that. And you mentioned I'm going to back up in your story, working for 15, 16 years, thinking that all this effort you're putting in, and I, I bet you, you weren't like poor baseball player.

[00:05:21] Bettina M Brown: You know, you were doing well, you were doing that in college and your mind shifted that way. And then that was not the open door for you. And that's something I think a lot of us can resonate. It may not be baseball, but you know, putting all these time and year and investment and hopes and dreams and not having it come to reality.

[00:05:44] Bettina M Brown: Did you, you know, you said you felt a little bit like a failure at that point. What, what, say a little bit more about that experience. What did someone tell you or what advice did someone give you from such a 

[00:05:57] Justin Skinner: big moment? Yeah, that's a good, that's a good question. It was, like I said, it was really hard.

[00:06:02] Justin Skinner: I had a lot of friends. I had several friends actually who, who wound up playing in the major leagues. And so I had one of my best friends growing up. He got drafted. One of, you know, several people I played against, they got drafted. I wound up, you know, having a verbal commitment from a professional team that I would get drafted.

[00:06:18] Justin Skinner: So, there are all these things that I thought were lining up. And then when they didn't, and that door was closed to be honest, my wife was really supportive. And she said, Hey, if you want to go play independent ball or sign free agency, whatever you want to do, I'll, I'll go with you. I'm with you. But for some reason, I just had a piece not to go that direction.

[00:06:35] Justin Skinner: And at the same time, I'll, I'll kind of talk through that. Even though I had a piece, it's still hurt. And even I struggle with it for four or five years. What does my life look like? Because I a lot of my identity was wrapped up in performance on a baseball field. And I think again, people can relate to that in performance in other areas.

[00:06:54] Justin Skinner: And, you know, you get good jobs and you get high fives and pats on the back. And when that's gone and that's taken away, you really have to introspectively look and say, you know, who am I? How do I fit into the world now? And even though I was young and it seems, you know, maybe dumb in a way you really do have to take a look and think, you know, how can I, how can I better people around me?

[00:07:16] Justin Skinner: And how can I better myself without what I've known for the last 18 years? So it's definitely hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and to speak more, go back to your, your question of people speaking into me. I had 2 parents that were really encouraging. I have and. Honestly, just people around me spoke to me and said, look, baseball doesn't define you.

[00:07:39] Justin Skinner: Your past doesn't define you. You can take all your character and everything. All the skills you've built with friends and friendships. And you can just transfer that to the next phase of life, and I think that helped a lot. It was, it, it really is important, and I know you don't always reach out, and it's not good to always lean on people's words, but in those moments of hard times, just encouraging word, word really, really goes a long way.

[00:08:05] Bettina M Brown: And what you also said is that you had peace with your decision, but I liked how you highlight that still there. That didn't mean there was no pain. And I think sometimes people will feel like, well, there's pain, so I'm not, I'm not okay with it, but, you know, like it, I had a similar experience where I wanted to get into 1 school.

[00:08:25] Bettina M Brown: Was accepted into that program, but I didn't have the money to go to that school. And I remember I made that decision and I was, I was completely at peace, but it was my goal to go to that school and it was also hurtful for all the people around me to see their face when it didn't happen, right? They, you wanted it for yourself, but to see them.

[00:08:48] Bettina M Brown: Want it for you too. Yeah, there's also some to carry.

[00:08:51] Justin Skinner: And it's definitely something that took, like I said, it took a while to get past. And for a while, I didn't want anything to do with baseball. I didn't want to talk about it. But I, there was, there's a healing moment within those, you know, five, six years.

[00:09:05] Justin Skinner: And then I say moment, it's not just one particular moment. I think it's, it's Healing through different situations and learning to, you know, love your past and be grateful for it, even though it's, it's not a part of you anymore. Yeah. 

[00:09:18] Bettina M Brown: Yeah. And I think that's a huge one. Be grateful for your past, even it's a part of you for your future and the lessons, but it doesn't have to define, define everything.

[00:09:29] Bettina M Brown: Exactly. You also shared that you kind of struggled right after college. Like, I need this experience. I need this experience, this experience. Which is so hard because you need a job to get the experience. 

[00:09:43] Justin Skinner: It's just that frustrating. Yeah. 

[00:09:45] Bettina M Brown: Yes. Yes. But then I also love like we, we put our head down, you had some incidences and you're like, we're going to start our own business.

[00:09:54] Bettina M Brown: So, you have all the experience you need. How do you feel that maybe those experiences of the baseball major league not coming true and your experience after college, just not being able to get that job right away. How do you feel that helped you initiate, you know, starting a business with your wife?

[00:10:12] Justin Skinner: Yeah, it's a good question. I think the rejection early on helped because it proved to us that even though we were being rejected in different ways, we were still alive. We were still moving. We were still doing things and it would still be okay. So even though My life doesn't look anything like what I thought it was going to when I was 18 or 19.

[00:10:35] Justin Skinner: I still feel like I'm very blessed with where I am. I still have amazing friends and family around me and we have, you know, an amazing situation and we're very fortunate to be where we are. So I think that's the thing it taught. No matter how many times we get rejected and even we can tie this into the book.

[00:10:50] Justin Skinner: If you're writing a book right now, no matter how many times you get rejected from a publisher or from someone else saying it's not good enough or whatever that may be, if you just keep. Honing it and working on it and moving forward. I guarantee you something good will come from it and it may not look like what you want it to look like.

[00:11:08] Justin Skinner: But something will come of it. I can guarantee you that. Yes. 

[00:11:12] Bettina M Brown: And I love Oprah 1 of those people and I heard her say this quote that luck is really when opportunity and preparation come together and. Viewing those rejections are preparation, right? Cause the next big thing when you starting your business, that's your name on there.

[00:11:33] Bettina M Brown: That's your, you know, you're starting it with your wife. It's a family event that's huge. And those, those moments where you, you already know you have a solid foundation together and you're solid within yourself and you've learned to be grateful. And you also mentioned just being blessed and. Prayer has been helpful.

[00:11:53] Bettina M Brown: So you were set up to fail bigger and better and continue to get bigger and better if that makes sense. 

[00:12:01] Justin Skinner: Absolutely. No, I talk about that too in the book, how sometimes it's, it's nice to fail in small ways and get used to it. And you know, it's like riding a bike, you know, you want to do it in small incremental ways.

[00:12:11] Justin Skinner: And then, you know, the longer you go and the more comfortable you get with learning from failure, because the goal is not failure. The goal is ultimately success, but in order to get there. You have to fail and learn from those failures. So, it's always good to learn small learn how to crawl first, then you can walk, then you can run and you can have these bigger failures and bigger lessons from failures.

[00:12:32] Justin Skinner: Or even what I like to do, I like to learn from mentors and I like to ask people to, you know, help me skip failures because I don't always want to have to experience everything. I don't, I don't have to experience pain to learn from it, even though it is a really good teacher. I don't have to experience failure either.

[00:12:49] Justin Skinner: So for me, if I can have a wise person or a wise sage come in my life and say, Hey, I tried this, don't do this. I want to have the humility to listen and then carry that out and say, you're right. I don't want to make that same mistake. 

[00:13:05] Bettina M Brown: You're right. You don't have to experience it yourself to learn from it.

[00:13:09] Bettina M Brown: And you mentioned a mastermind. And when I first heard that term, I was like, what exactly is a mastermind? And then I learned more about it. I've participated in some myself and It's really, it's, it's like, I don't know, it's, I don't even think it's mastermind, it's like mind blowing with all these minds together.

[00:13:30] Bettina M Brown: Share your experience with how you got into that and, and what you came out with of it.

[00:13:34] Justin Skinner: Yeah so I got into, I had met someone who had just moved to this area from Oregon, and they had kind of introduced me to the concept, but I was unfamiliar with it two years ago. But really, the best way I can say is a bunch of, of normal guys.

[00:13:50] Justin Skinner: And for me, it was, it was the group of all guys, but it's a bunch of normal guys, they get together and they're just, you know, high energy. We talked through a lot of different things, but they're very highly motivated. And what I noticed is that a lot of them aren't scared of failure. They're not scared of doing these, these things.

[00:14:06] Justin Skinner: So, what happens is you get all these different perspectives from all across the country. Most of them were in the United States. We did have. 1 or 2, maybe in South America, but for the most part, you have all these different views across the country. And I love the Midwest. I love Missouri and I love where I'm from.

[00:14:23] Justin Skinner: But there is a perspective here that is unique to this area. Just like there's a perspective from California, New York and and the more perspectives you can get an insight from these different scenarios. I just feel like it helps you as a human. It helps you in business. It can help you in so many different areas.

[00:14:41] Justin Skinner: And I go back to the book too, and there were authors in that group that I could pick their brain and say, Hey, how, and there were, there were authors that had already written four or five different books. And so I could pop in once a week and say, Hey, how did you do this? How did you structure this?

[00:14:56] Justin Skinner: How did you work through this with an editor? And so I had all these, these men that were saying, Hey, this is the way to do it. That is invaluable for me that that I mean, I could still be writing the book at this point, or it could not be published, but I know they sped up that process. So, for me, I've loved it.

[00:15:13] Justin Skinner: I'm on my 2nd mastermind. I love the 1st 1. I just felt like the timing that same piece is there that I need to move on to this next 1. But same it's a bunch of just normal guys that are really kind of pouring into each other and talking through different perspectives and different ways to do things.

[00:15:30] Justin Skinner: So, I love it. I would recommend. Yeah. And then to anyone that could do it. 

[00:15:36] Bettina M Brown: And you know, back to that saying that you are the culmination of the five people around you, or maybe it's 10 people, but it doesn't mean you have to change your social circle, right? Like my parents don't want to start a business.

[00:15:46] Bettina M Brown: They don't have a podcast, you know, that's not their thing, but they're still valuable. But to have conversations with people who understand and know, and have that drive to. In this case, have that podcast and still work and still do this and learn more about three point lighting and, and, and get excited about the same things is inspiring and it keeps you motivated because you can have all the discipline in the world, but every once in a while that motivation goes down, it's like, okay, because I'm still starting from scratch with my learning.

[00:16:19] Bettina M Brown: And like you said, speeding up that process, even though it still can feel slow sometimes to you, like you said, you would still be writing that book. And it's already out, it's published on your 

[00:16:28] Justin Skinner: website. And I think that's a great point, too, because you don't want to take away from anyone in your, your social circle or any of your family members.

[00:16:38] Justin Skinner: That's very important. It's like, my grandpa was 1 of my favorite people in the world. He would probably never. Join a mastermind, but at the same time he has an amazing, you know, wisdom coming from him and he has so many different things, but he also does. He's never written a book and he's never done something.

[00:16:53] Justin Skinner: So if you go and ask someone for directions and they don't know how to get there, it's hard for them to tell you how to get there. So it's not taking away from anyone and it's not saying, Hey, you're not good enough for me to learn from her. Hang, hang around. That's not true at all. It's just, again, going back to being around people who have been there and they've been through different scenarios that maybe your, your inner circle hasn't been through, right?

[00:17:18] Bettina M Brown: Yeah. I think it's good to have an objective opinion because, you know, your family's invested in you in a different way than the people on your mastermind. So, where did this idea to write a book come out and tell us about that process? 

[00:17:35] Justin Skinner: Yeah, that's a good question too. So I actually, I had a friend that started a magazine, a men's magazine several years back, and I went up writing an article for him, and it was on some pretty heavy stuff my wife and I have been dealing with.

[00:17:47] Justin Skinner: Infertility for over a decade now. So we've got some pretty heavy feelings from that. So, I wound up writing the article and I just found it to be rather healing and very therapeutic. And so at that point, I really fell in love with writing. And so, I started getting around some other authors and I just started writing daily.

[00:18:06] Justin Skinner: And so my goal was to write four to 500 words a day. I didn't know what it was going to look like. I just wanted to get it out. So, I started writing and after, you know, about four or five months, I had 35, 000 words from doing four to 500 a day. And I did have like an outline and I kind of broken down.

[00:18:22] Justin Skinner: So I knew I kind of wanted to talk about the topic of failure. But really I would just write and some days it would be decent. Some days it would be good. And some days it would just be completely horrible. So it was just a matter of writing and getting it out. But I'd say that's where it came from.

[00:18:38] Justin Skinner: And from that, you know, therapeutic article for me, I really have. I think honed in a discipline of writing and reading, and I just feel like I'm a healthier person because of that. And hopefully, you know, I can, I can continue to write in the future. 

[00:18:54] Bettina M Brown: And, you know, thanks for sharing that, you know, you shared a very vulnerable thing in that, that article.

[00:19:01] Bettina M Brown: And then you also shared it on this podcast. And I think that just together up!