Trust Your Gut: The Importance of Not Ignoring Your Feelings about Someone's Energy

So, you meet someone and you aren't sure if this new acquaintance is someone that may end up being a great friend of yours someday.

Or, you are on a first day, and you are so excited by their interest in you that you block one thing.

Your feelings. 

Your sense of this person being "good" for you, and whether or not they will help you grow.

Hindsight is called "20-20," but so many people actually report that they knew something was "not right" long before.

Don't ignore!

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Transcript

 Bettina Brown: Greetings. Greetings, everyone. Welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina, and this is the platform where I talk about living a life that is in your groove, in the mood of excitement, prosperity, energy. Basically towards your goals and walking away from that shame blame game that really does nothing for you.

So if you are a person that's struggling with figuring out why you're walking in the same patterns, or heck, sometimes you're running in the same negative patterns over and over again and you feel a little alone. Or like you're the only one that's doing this. Well, two things. One, you're not alone. You're not the only one doing this, and there is a way to get out of that.

There's a way to get towards alignment of your hopes and dreams and really being fulfilled. I like to start off by saying I'm not a licensed counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, but I am a healthcare professional who loves to have conversations with people about what makes them. Tick, what makes them do the things they do.

And one of my favorite phrases that I learned, being a PT or going through PT school is to not chase the pain, get to the source, and, you know, not doing all the symptom management. And, and I believe in that and I believe so much of our physical health. Really comes from a deeper place, our emotional, spiritual health.

And I feel a lot of it's even from our emotional state, things that we've held onto from birth, from childhood, and that they just don't disappear. And then you move teenagehood, if that's even a term, and then your twenties and thirties and forties, and it's just like layer upon layer upon layer. And then one day you're not so sure you've lived a life that's really in alignment with who you are.

And maybe that day you're even wondering who really are you? Are you okay with this person? Are you the mask of the person that you really want to be? Or are you really. Able to express how you feel and if people don't care for it, they don't. And I do take this to heart because the number one regret of people that, when interviewed cuz they're at the end of their life, the number one regret is that they lived a life that was really in alignment with the roles that people had put out for them, gender roles and.

I guess family roles, you know, the oldest sibling and youngest sibling, even within the nuclear family: spouses, parents, children, just not being true to really what a situation is and having to just fill that role. And so basically like a checkout counter of life, just po you know, moving everything through, but not really getting away from that checkout counter and actually, Enjoying the view, enjoying the everyday life.

And so I wanted to talk today a little bit about what, what is one of the main things, and this is my personal belief, and there's a lot to it though. There's a lot of sayings that go along with this, but you are what they call, you are who you hang with, right? And there's another saying that, you know, show me your closest five friends, and I can tell you your future.

I can tell you your weight, I can tell you your financial class. I can tell you so much about you by who you are around. And so you stop and you take a look around and you stop and feel to what I talk about, wanna talk about today is the energy of a person. Because I think many of us are, are so busy trying to get things done, trying to be the mom, uh, trying to be the parent, trying to be the spouse, trying to be the child, trying to be the, whatever your occupation is, trying to be the person that pays the rent on time, mortgage on time, always trying to do all these things that we don't get to pause and look at who our surrounding people are.

And some of those surrounding people may be blood relatives. Some of them may be friends, and sometimes it's even us. We're figuring out whether that energy is really right and I listen to another awesome YouTube. I absolutely adore RC Blakes. He is a phenomenal pastor, but he really talks about people.

You know, yes, he is a pastor. He admits it, but also just discusses his life, how in his youth, he's like, I will admit it, I was a womanizer and I was really a horrible person. Had a child out of wedlock, with one of his first. Why with his first wife divorced very young, you know, a son of a pastor, which really didn't go over well for his church.

It just one thing after another, financially ruined all this. And then, you know, he made, he said I had to make a decision because this life was not going the way I wanted it to go. I had to look at my surroundings. And in this YouTube, he really talks about, Being aware of the energy of a person. And I loved the phrase, you know, when you meet someone or when you're with someone, their looks can lie.

And we know looks can lie because A, we go to work and we're all dressed up. We have our professional clothes on, women are in our high heels. We have to wear this and that. You know, we're not that tall. Our hair color's not authentic. Men may even lie with their looks and they're not usually that sharp.

They probably haven't showered all day or day or weeks or what have not. But we always lie to give a certain presentation and it's, it's good. Like we should put ourselves together. I'm not saying we shouldn't do that and that we only do that for each other, but to just look at someone and feel that you know them because of their looks, because looks can lie.

And your first impression of someone can also be a lie. So that first impression of a person that you meet on a first date, the first impression you have of someone when you're just sitting to have a cup of coffee. Well, I really like this barista. You know, they're always full of energy. You don't know what they do later.

You also may not know your coworkers. You may not know your, your distant cousin that you just finally got to meet. You're so excited about this. A bond of, of being family, but you, you don't know this person. So those first couple impressions may also not be telling you the full truth. Your circumstances may also be giving you a lie.

What about when you meet someone who's in a place of, of, of fatigue and exhaustion? They have a lot going on in their mind. They have a lot going on in their life when you meet that person. Are you really getting to meet that, that true person? Or are you just kind of meeting them in their, in their circumstance, in their life, you know, their family's having issues.

You don't get to, to really know that person. But one thing that you do get to do, and you get to feel it when you close your eyes, is you feel the energy of a person. You can feel. If a person has good intentions, if they're being honest, if they're being truthful, if they have any good energy, and you know what's so interesting about it is a lot of us can't put our finger on it, right?

We can't really describe why we do or we do not like someone. There might be something that just comes across from a person. You're like, I just cannot be in the same space as this human being. Does that mean that they're necessarily a bad person? No, not necessarily. Or you either, but your energies are not vibing and a lot of times, you know, we, we do talk about this in relationships, but also in friendships where, you know, months down the road, or unfortunately sometimes years down the road, if we're truly honest with ourselves, we can point out, you know what, I didn't have a good feeling from the get-go.

There was something that stopped me. I, I was worried, you know, I'd be alone. I was worried I wouldn't have that job. I was worried this, but we tend to really know that we felt something was off. And what's amazing is that all of us have this ability to pick up on the essence of another person, because we are just deeper human beings that can feel the depth, which is either good or not good.

And so feeling this energy is really a way of, I believe God, other people have other views, but either way, something higher, bigger than us, guiding us away from a problem. And the thing about guiding someone away from their problem can be frustrating because I, I am a mom and sometimes I desperately want to guide my own son away from a future problem.

And, and he's determined to walk straight into that problem. And as a parent, sometimes I have to learn which problems he has to walk straight into to fall. Or to kind of, you know, be shaken, awake a little bit. But the thing is, that's not just something that happens to my son As an adult, how many problems have I walked into with my eyes open, my ears open, and my intuition, my gut turned completely off.

Because the amazing thing is that people can act good enough and long enough. To really hook us in. And there's nothing inherently wrong with you that you weren't, you know, feeling that or knowing that, but people really. Just like there are experts in in epidemiology and there are experts in engineering.

I really believe there are people who are experts in manipulating other people, like they have spent their whole life on it that if they were to write some books. In fact, there is one author, and I forgot his name, I will look for it, but he is a self-proclaimed narcissist and actually wrote like 12 books about it on his own techniques.

And said, this is what made me feel good. I mean, just boom, boom, boom, boom. And what was interesting is that he had enough awareness to know it, which is rare among them. But at the same time, he was an expert manipulator at the same time. He was comfortable in that place, but also in the same time he said, In every single one of his books, he could tell which people he could manipulate and which ones he could not.

So if someone, and some people call narc people, you know, narcissist people without a soul, and if we wanna go that far, how can someone's soulless pick up on energy when, when other people cannot? And, and I really fully believe that means every single human being can pick that up. We just may not be tuned into the right frequency.

Or we're tuned into forgetfulness or, ah, I don't believe in that, but you can tell if you should walk left or right, you know, that gut feeling, I should go this way home. Or, you know what, I'm really gonna slow down and, and really, you know, normally I'd run that red light, but I'm gonna really slow down.

Those are the gut feelings we have. They're not just about situations, but people also. And when we look deeper into a person, we, we go deeper into their real countenance. So we get to know who they really are. And you know what? Sometimes it's disappointing. And we have to be prepared for that disappointment.

You know, where you already could, you have your life figured out. You had this friendship or relationship or, father, daughter, mother, daughter, mother, son, any of these relationships even with your own children, siblings. You had it figured out how this was going to look in your life and it's disappointing that it did not turn out that way.

And so instead of facing that hurt, we'll just kind of play along. And that's where that phrase, sometimes you bring home a tiger and pretend it's a house cat, but it doesn't change the fact that this is a tiger. These are some big claws and you're just setting yourself up to be hurt. And there's no reason under, under any circumstance that we need to mute our intelligence, that we need to slow ourselves down, and there's no reason either.

That we should volunteer to have what people say we should have. You know, the car, the house, the relationship, the family relationship, because it's cute, because it's quote unquote appropriate, quote unquote, the right thing to do, quote unquote. That's how you were raised, quote unquote. You know, people of this nationality do it this way and people of this nationality do it that way.

It is. So much better to be safe. To be safe in your heart, safe in your mind and soul, and sometimes safe physically than it is to be cute. To have someone look for just a moment and go, oh, that's so awesome. They have this, or they do that. It is so much more important to feel safe, so. Sometimes we're not sure how we can really feel this energy.

Does that mean you just sit next to someone, you don't say anything and you're like, I'm feeling your energy right now. Does that mean that? No, but it means you can allow a conversation to flow and in the back of your mind, cognitively aware. How do I feel? Do I feel this person has good intentions or do I feel this person has neglect to whatever's going on in their life?

This is a person that really just talks about how wonderful their job is, how much money they have, how many boyfriends they've had, how many women they've slept with, how wanted they are. That's a big one. Oh, everyone wants me wanting you to be jealous and just tells you that there's nothing good to come out of that.

Now can good things come? Yes, experience. You can have beautiful memories, but even in those beautiful memories, you know that this was not ever going to be a friendship relationship that provided you what you need at your level because the energy was not there, or the energy was too low. And you've probably heard of that when someone has like low energy, that's usually when we're tired or depressed or really bubbly people when they're high energy.

All this. But that's, that's a really good way of looking at it. But there's also another level, like are they low energy as they're going to bring you down. Do they say good morning? And then do you know what happened? Do you know the politics? Do you know how many people died last night? Do you believe that the world is going to hell?

 You know, just like negative after negative after neg, there's so much negativity that you're not even sure you can move on with your day because it's been so negative from, from day, from the first eye open. And there are other people that you can walk away from and you feel like a little lighter. Like you got your feel of, of being recognized as a person.

You got your feel of, of just enjoying that human experience. The one thing that we can learn, and I have certainly learned many times, is that with all the lies that are out there and with all the liars that are out there, The one we don't need to lie to the one we need to trust. The one. We need to know that we can trust their opinion all the time is the one that we have.

And have you ever walked down a path where you're like, that wasn't a good one? Yeah. Take that learning experience and move on. It is not a determination for the rest of your life, but it is a moment for you to realize, for me to realize. That it is better to walk with your eyes open and your heart open, so the next person you meet, you can give them your heart.

You can give them your ear without being jaded and cynical and and fearful. To feel someone's energy and to recognize it provides you more freedom for your entire life because there's so much more freedom. In a sanctuary of a safe relationship regardless, friendship, family, um, anything. There's so much more freedom there and there's so much freedom for you.

So my recommendation is give yourself grace. Extend yourself a lot of grace in this learning process, but also extend yourself the opportunity to feel the energy. You don't have to judge it. But you have to know what's right for you. And the great thing about it is you don't have to take a course on it, although they do have them.

You don't have to read any books for it cuz not everyone loves books and you don't have to listen to podcasts and YouTubes. You have that wisdom with you right now. Just go ahead and use it. So thank you again. I appreciate your listening today. I would also appreciate if you went ahead and left some stars or a review.

It always helps boost the podcast awareness. Other than that, I wish you all a great day, and until next Tuesday when I drop the next episode, let's keep building one another up! .