The Power of Authenticity: How Honoring Your Values Helps You Find Your Voice

"Speak up,"  "say what you want to say," but does that mean you have really found your voice?

I explore that int today's podcast.





Here is the  link to Huffington Post, which goes into davidji 857 (contributor) detail as well..

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Transcript

Hello, hello and welcome to In The Rising Podcast. My name is Bettina Brown, and this is the platform I've chosen to talk to you about living a life that is really in alignment with your hopes and your dreams, your goals, really that zest for life that you have somewhere. Either very deep inside or somewhere out superficially, and you're ready to shine that and leaving behind that shame blame game that really does nothing for us, right?

And hashing out the past, staying in the past does nothing to move your present forward and live the future that you only dream about. That is what I love to do and talk on this podcast, is living a life that you really can look back on. Even the things I didn't love that I did or didn't love that happened, I regret none of my life.

So I am not a licensed counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, any of that stuff. But I love to figure out what makes us tick because I'm a healthcare professional who really has the opportunity to have a lot of one-on-one conversations with people. And you know, you give people some time. And a lot of them begin to talk, and realistically, a lot of us are talking conversing, but we're not really exposing what is important to us or we're just not being heard by the person we're talking to.

So today I really wanted to talk about finding your voice, kinda like the Little Mermaid when you know her voice is taken, but. She starts to really use her voice, use her emotions, and start to communicate and still go after what she wants, which ultimately gives her her voice back. And so when we're looking for what really makes us tick and really finding and being in alignment with what we want in our future, we need to find our voice.

Having your voice does not necessarily mean we have a microphone. It does not mean we have a megaphone, but it means we're able to speak up to what we find important. It means we are able to speak up for ourselves. And so I found this article and I love Arianna Huffington, like I just love her. And I love the Huffington Post, and in this article it talks about seven ways to really find your voice and express that out to the world.

And the number one way is to accept that you have a unique and special voice that is overflowing with possibilities. What I like about this sentence is that you are able to recognize that you have possibilities. Just that alone, if you are looking constantly into what is not right in your past or what you have made mistakes as, or you know, a lot of us love to talk about our childhood, and I'm one of them, and we are products of our childhood, but we at some point have to take responsibility for our future.

Right, and the future does have possibilities, and it's when we don't see them or we don't allow ourselves to see that there are so many possibilities in front of us that we actually take our voice out of the equation. And there are magnificent gifts. Those are quotes from, and those are quoted words from the article, magnificent Gifts.

And we just have to walk into those possibilities to accept them. And I think we should all walk there because when we walk into that, we never know what's going to come. Number two is regularly sit in some stillness. Now that really freaked me out for a while because I like to have my silence. I liked, I love, I'm not even gonna lie, I love my alone time, but to really be silent means that you get to be with your thoughts and a lot of us distract ourself constantly with, scrolling, with conversation with other people, with being busy.

That was definitely my, my go-to being so busy that I don't have time to actually think. And it's really when we are not running away from our thoughts and we are actually being present with our thoughts and with our emotions, that we can accept something, that we can move forward, that we can find what voice we want to have in the future.

Now their recommendation is 15 minutes a day, and I, I like that idea, but that doesn't mean it always happens. I think sometimes just five minutes driving silently in your car, just doing some activity that's important to you without a lot of noise. That gives you all that time right there. Number three is cultivate your ability.

To listen to the world around you, and they're talking about meditation, and I have met many people like, you know what? I don't do that whole meditation thing. I don't do regular meditation, and I certainly don't do guided meditation. And the difference is really when someone's talking to you and says, okay, now you are breathing in very deeply.

Exhale, exhale. And they're focusing on how the person's talking to them and not necessarily following the directions. And you know, there are some people that have that mindset that meditation is not their gig, then maybe not. But when you are in that place, you actually get to go a little bit inside yourself and listen, their sentence is through the world around you, but listen to yourself.

So when you're having that silence from number two and stillness. Number three is, well, what are you gonna do about it? What is giving you hope? What is making you angry? Are you acknowledging that you are angry? Are you acknowledging that you want to be angry or want to be sad? But you're covering that up because ultimately, no matter what book I've read, Really from my own personal experiences, and maybe this is something that resonates with you, maybe not, but you really have to get through some things.

We say, I'm getting through it. We don't typically use the words I'm getting around it. I'm, you know, we have to say we face something. Our language is in the same sphere of you have to get through it in order to actually overcome it. And so having that, see that. It gives you that opportunity. Number four is pass, tap into your passion.

What gives you value right now? Like what, what excites you? What gives you some energy? What will, what is it? How do they put it here? What will find the seed of your voice? Like what really gives you some energy and excitement and movement to wanna talk? So I have. Maybe too many passions, but I definitely am passionate about spending time with my son, and I love to have a very nice environment in which to do that.

So I spend a lot of time remodeling, redecorating painting. I have painted my house at least four times, which is ridiculous, but I love to have that space and to have that space with people I love is very important to me. And therefore, I love to paint, not because it's actually a fun activity. But when I get into that zone, I have so much joy from creating that, that I just, I can't wait to see my son again and, and show it to him.

I can't wait to have him spend time in this place. Heck, I can't wait to spend time in it by myself, you know, just to really enjoy that and that is something I look forward to when I get home from work. When I am done walking the dogs, when anything I do, I look forward to that. And that's so important to me.

Number five is get really objective. And from this is taking yourself kind of out of yourself in a moment where we went into ourselves earlier with meditation and being in silence, but seeing yourself from another perspective, what would you say to yourself? What would you tell yourself? What would you tell yourself now?

What would you tell yourself in the future? What would you have told yourself in the past? You know, a lot of us have said this. My current self would walk back and say, you know what? That's not a smart move. Or, you're loved anyway. You know what? You'll get through this. You'll pass this exam. You'll get into that school and you won't get into that school, but you're gonna have a great life anyway.

We really look at so many things just from our perspective, how we are seeing things, and honestly, when we are focusing only on our perspective, we tend to get, how should I say, we get kind of blind to really what life is. We get blind to our own situation. Because we always see from our direction, if we stop and look from another person's perspective or an outside perspective, what is someone else seeing that we're missing in that moment?

We give ourself the grace and we actually kinda get off our high horse and then look at something differently and have that place where we can learn something. Changing that perspective can really change our whole life. And there are so many, so many YouTubes on perspective, especially from RC Blakes, who's one of my favorite pastors.

But just changing our idea about what really brings happiness, especially even with relationships. You know, is it a relationship? Is it a situationship? Are we changing our perspective from, I. What is and what it should be. And this makes such a difference with finding your voice because when we are able to shift and we see that something is totally in alignment, then we know and we feel, but when we know it's not, we have the ability to acknowledge it first to ourselves and then to other people.

Is that job bringing you joy? Are you being recognized at your job is being. The friend to this person really a benefit to you, or is it only a benefit to other people? You have that opportunity and they have seven, but I love this last one so much. We're gonna stop at number six. Find someone who really believes in you, a teacher, a mentor, a coach, someone who sees your strengths, values your gifts, and supports your dreams.

Listen to your heart. So that's my hope to be partially through this podcast is, uh, a coach for other people looking for aspects of their own life that they wanna tune up a little bit. And what I love to share about that is I've had a lot of experience, especially in the last five years to really do that to up, but, This one means a great deal to me because I've had people really pour into me.

I've had a therapist, I've had a coach I've had who I call like an adopted grandmother who really just sat me down. She's almost 90 years old, and she just says it what it is, and without any harshness behind it. Really just love. But she sees things from a different perspective. You know, add on a couple more decades of experience, and it doesn't matter in what era, but when people just know because they've lived it, you know, why we have the same movies over and over again is because a lot of it really is the same story, but we all experience it differently.

But when you find someone that really just believes in you and has the courage to share their voice with you, Well, it sure does help it. You find your own, and I've said this so many times, the number one thing that people regret when they're really towards the end of their life is, is not living a life that was really in alignment with them.

Like they lived everything for someone else, which is synonymous with not having your voice. Even if your own voice gets you in trouble, or even if your own voice alienates some people, to just be true to yourself means so much. And we don't recognize it necessarily in our twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, but we certainly recognize it when we're headed towards the end of our life.

And this is something I have really been blessed to see with a lot of people facing their mortality head on due to trauma or due to cancer. Choosing to find that voice from then on because for one, they accept their unique and special voice and recognize overflowing possibilities. They spend time in silence and do some meditation, but they do some feeling and not just acknowledging a feeling, but being in that feeling.

They also allow their passion to fuel them. And they get really objective with looking at things from a different perspective so that they can find someone who believes in them and they can learn to be that someone who believes in themselves. So thank you for listening today. I am so grateful for your time because time is that one resource.

We do not get back. And I will see you all next Tuesday and until then, let's keep building one another up.