In The Rising Podcast

Episode 96: KYRIAKI- Actor, Writer, Musician, talks about Women Empowerment and Finding YOU- (1)

September 07, 2021 Bettina M. Brown
In The Rising Podcast
Episode 96: KYRIAKI- Actor, Writer, Musician, talks about Women Empowerment and Finding YOU- (1)
Show Notes Transcript

Kyriaki aka Katie Elizabeth Chonacas  is a Greek-American Powerhouse!  She has been in the entertainment industry for over 20 years, acting in "Legacy", "Cold Case," and "CSI: NY, and Righteous Kill" to name a few.

When you think "artist," think about Katie.   She has so much to offer in this podcast, which I separated into two parts. She has maintained her sense of self, and presents with a depth of knowledge of multiple body-soul connections, that you will definitely feel the need to Google after this show!


https://www.chonacas.com/
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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to in the rising podcast. My name is Bettina, and this is the platform I love to talk about living a life that's in alignment with

Speaker 2:

Your hopes, your dreams, and your vision of an awesome life. And I'm in an interview series right now. And today's interviewee is no exception of being a phenomenal person, empath and woman. Her name is Katie Elizabeth [inaudible] and she's also known as Carrie . A key has been in the modeling field has been in movies is a producer, is an , a director, actor, voiceover artists, coach podcaster, and publish author. And she is just a phenomenal human being with a lot of talents, but a lot of insight into who she is and how she can relate to other people through her art. I'm excited for you guys to listen to this as a two part series and let's do the first. So I'm going to start off with this Katie, because you said you're a Greek American actor, producer, director, musician, voiceover artists , industry, coach podcaster, and published author. And when I read that, I was like, this woman is on fire. This woman is on fire. What makes you feel like you have this drive? Like, what is it about, were you always this way? Is this something that's kind of developed for you?

Speaker 3:

I've always had it. It's I've always had it. It's just my God given gift my energy. Uh, ever since I was little, everyone called me a young soul or no , an old soul and everyone, a lot of people said, oh, you're like, you're a Renaissance woman or Renaissance woman. Like , so I've always had these pillars of creativity and just had this open vessel. I attribute it to probably my Greek roots being, you know, having the culture growing up on Socrates and Plato, the Republic, and just knowing about Greek mythology and the fantasy of it all . So , uh, that's probably some of it.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. And so you said you have a Greek background. I have a German background. So it's, you know, having different cultures in your life, how do you feel that's influenced you to who you are now?

Speaker 3:

Oh, it's influenced me majorly. I've been around the whole entire world. I am so blessed to have spread my wings just by being so open, but understanding Greek, actually my mom's part German. So, so am I, but I , um, I don't speak German, but , um, the, the mold of culture with language, food, traveling, being attuned to energy vibrations, I could, I would be in the south of France, you know, where all the great painters, you know , came from. And , um , with, with my friend, from Vietnam, meeting his family, not speaking Vietnamese, but sitting and staying with them for a week in the south of France and listening to Shaw day through music, we were able to connect in through food and I mean, egg rolls when you're in New York city, they have pretzel stands and , and you know, the south of France egg roll stands, you know, and, and it's a huge Vietnamese culture there, but I was able to go to the Czech Republic and so many places around the world and not speak the language, but listen, and hear the vibes and the tone, like, you know, someone's talking about you or if someone's upset or if they're happy, if they're laughing and smiling through their mannerisms. So culture has really taught me a lot about human behavior , um, the way we think , um , observing other people and , um, you know, the, the quality of food, you know, in the appreciation of a social community, getting together and sharing that kinship , um, you know , uh , food and music and , and language. So that's how cultures impacted me greatly

Speaker 2:

Sounds. And you also mentioned that you're an empath, which is a person that can really feel like you feel along with somebody else. So you have the cultural aspect and then this empathic , um, component as well. And you have just used that to create art and really produce wonderful, wonderful things out there. So you also said that you are a women's empowerment coach. Can you go a little bit into detail about what that is and what you're doing

Speaker 3:

First? I just wanted to mention the empath. I've learned, not only am I an empath, but I'm an HSP and highly sensitive person. Um, 15 to 20% of the population are HSPs. Um, I have SPS, which is , um, or S uh, sensory processing disorder. They call it, but I don't like to think of myself as a disorder, but I get overwhelmed by the , um, you know, my, the senses, the light hearing, touch, feel, all those things. And then I'm understanding my human design as well. I'm a projector. So , um , on my journey of the empath, I've learned all those tools and , um, you know, so you and the listener can go and research those two . Also, I recently had , um, Tom who's, the president of the misophonia Institute , um, to understand misophonia, which I didn't understand, but it goes hand in hand with being past . So I definitely , uh, definitely check that out. Um, and that episode's amazing. And just the information on Misa phony , uh , is, is really impactful. Um, and that is in correlation to, to being an empath. Um, but to diving into , uh, the question you just asked me and , uh , being all over the place , uh, what, what was that , that question again?

Speaker 2:

So you, you also are a women's empowerment coach, go into some detail and describe what that is. What how'd you get started?

Speaker 3:

There you go. Okay. This is it in a nutshell. So I grew up with short term, medium term and longterm. I grew up running cross country, and so I had this foresight, and so I always did , um, everything Nike to win, just do it. So , um, grant Cardone created this 10 X method, but before grant Cardone, I can't say existed cause he's older than I am, but he did this 10 X myth . And I'm like, yo, like the thing he talks about, like his 10 S max it 10 S max it 10 X method, I'm like, I have an 11 X method. And so this is what I've done. So for my personal info , my professional ever since I was a kid, like I said before, I knew grant Cardone. I always did 11 things for my personal and 11 things for my professional. So on a hard day, if I'm saying, if I'm like, yo, I'm sending out 11 emails, I'm like, that's, that's on a hard day. That's what that's for my professional. However, for an 11 X method, if you're having a good day, one of your 11 X, one of the things on the 11 X method could be, I sent out X amount of emails and then do 10 other things on that list for your professional, and then also do it for your personal. So the personal that can be , um, Epsom salt bath , uh, you had some minerals to replenish your body. You put on essential oils, you listened to Esther Hicks, you listened to Caroline mice. She ha you, you downloaded overdrive. We can listen to up to audio, 30 audio books per month, every single month for free. She has over 10 books on there. And it's her voice in her voice is angelic. Um, so listening to a mystic intuitive, Caroline mice, mys S listening to the leading , uh , um, neuroscientists, Dr. Joe Dispenza, like what he's been saying in science for over two decades now, like people are, a lot of people are saying now, Dr. Gregg, Braden. So those are, those are my personal things that I do for my 11 X method. Um, you know, but even if it's streaming 11 episodes and I'm vegging out, but not only am I rotating and I'm doing that for my personal health, but also that I'm getting those dopamine hits for, in my entertainment to make me feel good. If I'm doing it alone, isolated, cause I need solitude, but I'm still connected to something that's entertaining. Or if I'm doing it with someone it's like, Hey, but also because I'm an artist I'm looking at the director, the producer, like I'm looking at the coloring , I'm looking at the tone of the show. I'm looking , um, I'm watching the actor. So for me, I think they just all go hand in hand, but when you're replenishing your personal, it's fueling your entrepreneurial skills.

Speaker 2:

I like how you have it, like in two different columns, but you're not. So it inherently has balance in that because that's what it always is. And, you know, we always hear where we're trying to be in a balanced state and , and it's not about being it's, it's an action. You have to focus on being balanced and that you're doing you're professional and you're doing your personal, but you're also recognizing, is this a day or bad day? Do I have the full energy or do I not to be aware? Self-aware yes.

Speaker 3:

Cause on your calendar, you may have so many things scheduled and you know, within your schedule, like, oh, I'm going to keep these. I have like, I schedule a K day where it's like a K spa day. So even if I'm not at the physical spot , especially what's been happening over the last, you know, year and a half. Um, but I, I schedule like, I know this is going to be K going for a walk for a hike , uh , working out or just getting like our sleep and repair, just sleeping is really, really important. Our immune system totally repairs itself. So a lot of people who are depressed, who sleep a lot because they're sleeping it off because you need to like, let it pass. Or like, if you feel heavy and you take a nap and it passes and when it rains, you feel like your soul is being cleansed. So I do. So within your calendar, you know, forget the to-do list . We're not human doers. We're like you said, being more, being more. And why also you said, is checking in with self. So check, I've learned to check in. Cause when I was younger, I didn't know this. I , since I came from a cross country background, I was thinking, number one thing, you know, is health. I was thinking, you know, physical health and my, my, my, my form, I figure health. But then I learned along the way, emotional health , uh, emotional intelligence checking in with my feelings, like how, how are you feeling? And asking people not, how are you doing? How are you feeling? What's going on? FA not fine. Everyone's going to say fine. Or most people are going to say, bye . That's just an answer. No , what's, what's going on. Let's check in to see where you're at, because once you get that truth out and you're not hiding it, it actually relieves a lot of pressure. So I've been really great at actually connecting with people and people have been able to open up because I know how to get to that sweet spot. Maybe being an empath, maybe being more tuned. Um, you know, as a person, just one of my gifts. But like, like we just talked about checking in to see how we're feeling. I mean, you know, we have commitments, keep our commitments, you know, we have to show up for, we get to show up for those who don't have to, we get to, we chose to make those commitments. So we're doing things we don't want to do or showing up like, Ugh , well , stop making the choice for it to be on the calendar. Right.

Speaker 2:

I like that stop making the choice for it to be on the calendar because it's okay to clear out that calendar. We get very busy and going, going, going. So we think that busy-ness is equated to movement forward, but it's not always the case just because you're running doesn't mean you're running forward, you can be running in place. And so that's, that's a huge statement. Um, and , and you were also talking about, you know, that self check-in and I recognize those names, the Joe Dispenza, I'm just reading his, the one mind right now. Um, Esther Hicks, Abraham, he , you know, all of that. Um, how did you start to go into that world and start reading and to their information? Like, you know, what, what was the path that got you in that direction?

Speaker 3:

Honestly, just, you know , um, as I mentioned, because I've always just been this soulful artist and open to the Greek mythology and , uh , the poets I'm I'm first and foremost, a poet, I always loved Shakespeare and language and writing. So I think being a writer just really got me into that direction, but real , really enhanced it after I was, you know , traveling the world. And I did everything in my , um, in my mind's eye of my ego of quote unquote, making it and listening to multimillionaires and billionaires and how to be successful in going through a decade of a labyrinth for this discovery, literally running around and traveling the world. I then in 2012, decided to do an internal journey and , and go inside and stay in one place instead of traveling all over the place and to stay in one place and do the internal work. And that really set me off on a journey. Also, I do have an older sister, Anna [inaudible] and she's a genius and she's way smarter than I am. And she's turned me on to Tim Ferris and Laval . She turned me on to so many great people on medical medium. And so it's really cool to have that kinship in that bond with my sister, cause I've always wanted to deeply connect with her throughout my whole entire life. And I find through neuroscience, we both have an interest in it separately that when we come together, we're able to share some information. So, so that's, that's really exciting. Um, so some of it through, you know, my own experiences and journeys and then , um, as a seeker and then some through, you know, my sister really up in my game and hopefully she feels the same, you know, about me up being her game and centering ways

Speaker 2:

That that's really, it's really nice cause , uh , I'm an only child, but I have a best friend that we also have those sort of conversations. And it's nice to have some one physically to kind of bounce some of these ideas off and say, I just read this and I'm noticing this because you can see each other grow in a different way versus just grow older.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And in what you do said, it's, it's the most beautiful thing. Two things, one having that kinship and holding space to watch someone else's journey. It's so beautiful to witness where they are, where they want to go and seeing them go there and then them cheering you on too . I have a girlfriend, Ali levy. We met because of my sister. She did a yoga teacher training, 18 gorgeous, amazing independent girls went to Nicaragua , uh, Nicaragua , um, on a yoga retreat for 10 days. And I met Ali , Sandra Levy and we met, she was on east coast. I was on west coast and um, I brought to her attention, Hey Lee , I learned about masterminding let's mastermind. So we held each other accountable for like three to five years on off, and we had weekly masterminds and we did what we just talked about. But the second thing also having that kinship with the divine femininity, you know, and to empower us as women and the self we're talking about being impasse and being attuned to , um , the psychological behaviors and, and paying attention to what someone isn't saying, what we're not saying.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So basically that reading between the lines and kind of feeling between the shoulders with what their heart is, or is not opening up to in their, in their words. So the body language and all of that. And so it is important as you're going through your own journey because we tend to not even if we need that solid to , to, to revamp we journey with other people around us. And so we do have to be able to be aware of the room, be aware of feelings. And so a lot of what you mentioned really helps open that up. And so I like that inner journey. I like that. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

My very good friend, Matt too , from south , um, South Africa, who's living in Bali taught me years ago, maybe in 2006 or maybe 2014 , he taught me the five rule, the top five, the five rule that whoever is on your top five male and female that multitudes the 9 billion people in the world of how we interact with the male and female energies and, and what we allow. So always, you know , being aware and checking in, who's my top five, who's my top five, right? And one time I had to kick someone off of my top five, although they were making me 30 to $60,000 per year as one of my revenue streams for modeling. Um, it was, and I knew this person for over 10 years, but it was a toxic relationship. And w we're we go so fast. So it's like, oh, just take the money and run, turn a blind eye, take the money and run, turn a blind eye. But because of the holidays came and I went into solitude and I had eight days of spend with myself, then we were unhooked because I didn't book out. I was still booked in. And this person called me the next day after a Christmas, like during the holiday drunk, like out of this person's mind. And I was, I had to look at myself and I had to look at my character and I said, you know what? I may, I've been turning a blind eye, but how am I developing? How am I growing as a human being, as my character for my divine femininity, with my female relationships. I'm like, my mother doesn't speak to me this way. My sister doesn't speak to me this way. My girlfriends will speak to me this way. I, how can I allow someone? I, I'm not going to allow this. I had, I had to muster up the courage to say, I'm not going to allow this. I had to dismantle the relationship, completely cut it off. I worked with the agency for about six more months at not conversing with her. And I had to remove that toxic energy out of my life on a psychological level. It took a long time, but on, on a level of aura and energy that we can't see, it had to remove that to create a space. And if you look at it as a white canvas, it creates a space for an open, clear white clean space. So a new energy could come in a higher energy of something that I wanted to allow and to uplift my self-worth my myself, my being, my enrich, my life and my, my lifestyle. And by allowing this, I knew, I knew, and I had a conversation with source with God. I knew, I said, I am going to take a hit. And I am going to lose out on 30 to $60,000 over the next year. Actually it went a little longer than that, but in my mind, I'm like, I'm going to get set myself back up for, it's kind of , I'm going to set myself back for about a year and I'm okay with that because that's going to set me up for the rest of my life. Instead of running around a whole year to 30 to 60 jobs, I'm going to be able to show up to one job and get paid that in one job, because I'm upping my own self-worth and taking a risk and betting on myself to remove myself from this toxic relationship. And I love that person. And I care for that person that person's amazing. And it was like an arc I learned, I grew. And then I saw devolve like a , like a TV show. You're either going in arc of a character. It's always going up or it's going down. And so I hope this person's doing great. I did my best to support this person. And lastly, I've found out this important message and this important , uh , life lesson I really saw and learned, no matter how much you want to save someone, no matter how much you do all the, all the tools I told you think about years more. I told this person, we can't save anyone only ourselves. And I had to psychologically forgive and unhook from thinking I could save her. And then, and then writing her and sending her a beautiful letter in the mail with my heart and soul. And that's where I ended it and held the space, you know, but the person's in my heart. I love this person.

Speaker 2:

And the , and I heard it's a same from someone else that sometimes someone can have a place in your heart, but that does not mean they have a place in your life because they're not, you know, they're either in your, you know, in your ship helping steer you forward, or there may be digging holes like, you know, and letting water in. And so there's a lot of courage in that. Um, and it's also fear, but to face that fear and to have that courage to say, no, I'm going to do this for my life this year may or may not look. The , the , the immediate is not always nice and fun, but the greater help is, is definitely worth it. So I I've learned that lesson myself sadly many, many times, but really proud of your courage of having that lesson so young, because you're noticing that you do need that space to be clear, happy energy around you, because if it's not bringing you up, it's going to bring you down. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Well, the , the fear part you mentioned that comes in, because we , we talked about the, the third shocker, which is the solar Plex and the empowerment and the divine femininity of connection, but what the, the choice of unhooking and, and not, and not doing it sooner was the fear of the root chakra of security, the base and the money. Right. Which , and , and so for a lot of people, 1000% that really holds us back and keeps us psychologically and emotionally connected to things we don't want to be connected to. Um, but it's, it's like dragging someone , um, by their feet on a muddy football field, back and forth. And I mean, it's, that's, that's even worse than, than staying in it, you know, it's, it's even worse.

Speaker 2:

It's exhausting. And then you cannot move forward because you're so tired.

Speaker 3:

He literally depleted.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And you said this , um, I was listening that you can really only save yourself and you can offer love to other people, but really only save yourself. Do you feel like this was that first instance where you noticed that this is where you had to put K Katie first and to save your, your area? Or was this kind of like when you finally move forward in that?

Speaker 3:

Hmm it's it's happened many times before this was, you know, an interesting path because this was a divine feminine woman for over a decade that was in my life. However, I have , um, felt and seen it before. And ever since I was young, my mom was always like, you know, put Katie first, put Katie first. And, and I always had a really difficult time putting myself first because one of my love languages is service active service. And so I guess one of my lifelong journeys is the realization of being in service, but then also making sure my cup is full and not feeling the guilt from taking care of myself, because I did go along a journey where I was, like I said, you know, when I was much younger and I had a knowing and I knew it all. And then I, you know, I , I was feeling myself up, but then when I was like, well, going around traveling somewhere long, the way something bit me and I was like, not allowing myself to accept and receive certain things, thinking I was being quote unquote to this person, manipulative, or , uh, you know, they, they had their own limitations and they try to project their stuff onto me. And since this person was close to me, I believe them. And when I believe them, I went on this journey and I would just , um , I was like, oh, okay. I've God blessed me. I , my cup has been so full since I'm so full right now I give to others, but now I'm giving to others. And then I , I stopped giving to myself, but I kept giving to others and I did this for a long time. And then I had to, it was, it was like, you know, like, like pulling , like pulling something. So, so like into me just to, to be able to pull, to give myself something. And so I've had to make it a practice to make sure I'm gifting to myself more than I was, you know? So, so , um , I'm in a healthy position of that now. Uh, but it's, it's a constant reminder, you know, to, to do that.

Speaker 2:

And I like how you said it's a practice. Like it's something you got to keep working on because especially as women, I think we're used to giving, or it's expected to give, not to receive. Um, and then you also talked about guilt and to learn that it is that this practice of loving yourself and taking care of yourself does not have to involve guilt. I have a friend she's like, guilt has no place in my life. And it really, it shouldn't , um, for, for things of taking care of yourself. You're absolutely right. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I remember when I was, it was 13 or 14. I was a freshman in high school. It was the first football game I showed up. And there were a group of seven girls sitting in a circle and they were my friends up until that day. And I, it was the beginning of my freshman year. I was walking past the bleachers and I showed up and this girl just gave me the squinty eye and just shamed me and blamed me. All of them did instead of asking what happened or talking to me and, you know, being this independent Greek female, and being 13 or 14, I just, you know, put the shield up. And I took on this shame and blame. And then I went, I went past them and I sat through the whole entire football game for like two hours or however long. It seemed like days seemed like seven hours, but I just, I sat there all by myself because I was too proud to, to leave. You know, I didn't cry. I didn't walk away. I just, I put up the shield and I sat there the whole entire time and I was frozen. I was frozen and I was numb. And I took on this shame and this blame and this guilt. And I learned in that moment to take that on. And I carried it with me and it's been a process and a journey to understand those triggers from 2014, when I went on this journey to understand jealousy and rage up until the pandemic to really, really slow down and to explore all of those emotions, but not only to explore them when they come up and then kind of like, okay, and then just keep moving to really let them come up and sit in it for a while. So the last year and a half has been pretty prolific for me to be able to , uh, really go within and sit with those things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And, and, you know, when those feelings rise up, it's good to notice it. And sometimes we're so busy that we recognize it, but you're like, I gotta , you know, you push it aside, but you know, you can't deal with something until you feel it. And , and to feel some of those emotions, it's not fun. Right? Yeah. Not joyful. And then

Speaker 3:

People will tell you like, oh yeah, just slow down or to feel it, but it's not just slow down and feel it it's . And they're like, oh, we'll just sit in it. But then they're like, oh, then what do you do late ? I mean, it's, it's a process it's journaling. It's it's cause you know, it's it allow it, you know, when you get to the tip of the iceberg, just allow it to , to go out. A short story I have is my very first time doing a Vipassana was in 2011 and it's a 10 day silent meditation. And you know, four days into it, I went up to, you know, one of the leaders and this woman, I was so frustrated because nothing was coming up. I felt like, I felt like my pipes were clogged, you know? Cause I heard these stories about these dreams and things coming up. But on the fourth night it's like my tough nut cracked. And I was because we were doing a 10 day silent meditation. You're not speaking through your thyroid, your throat chakra. And you're not having the TV and the noise and the reading of the books and talking to people. And you're just so still in so silent, I was having visual memories from when I was eight years old as they were playing real time. Like I was in the moment of when I was eight. That's how specific and vivid everything was, this really sensorily the language, the everything it was. And then, and then from that night on, I was, I was having all these dreams and I was like, I was on a mission to get everyone to be doing Vipassana because I was like, if you're not going to do it for your human being for yourself, like do it for your actor. If you're an artist, like do it for your artists because you learn so much. And sometimes as humans, we, people don't, they don't want to, or they can't, or they don't know how to do it for themselves, but they'll do it for like your sister or your friend or someone else. So I'm like, if you don't, you can't do it for yourself for some reason, do it for your artists.

Speaker 2:

So definitely covered a lot of ground in this first episode, from 11 X in your life to , to looking at what can you make a professional difference and a personal difference, making that today and tomorrow, making those little changes and opening up your whole world, even into Vipassana , which I've talked about with some other people who've done. And it's really a phenomenal experience from what I've heard and now it's something I've wanted to do. But what is really nice about my time with Katie is just to hear the, to really understand who you are and through who you are, do the things that you love, because then all of you comes out. We hear all the time, be your authentic self. But if you don't know you, then you're not really that authentic, huh? That's a lesson. I am myself learning. So if this part, one is something that you enjoy listening to and feel like this would benefit someone that, you know, go ahead and leave it a five star review, share

Speaker 1:

It with them. It does so much for the podcast and also to raise awareness, put this in the ears and the hands of people that can make a difference for. And until next time let's be [inaudible] .