In The Rising Podcast

Episode 122: Influence, Beauty, Mission: Keke Olisemeka

December 21, 2021 Bettina M. Brown Episode 122
In The Rising Podcast
Episode 122: Influence, Beauty, Mission: Keke Olisemeka
Show Notes Transcript

 Influence, Beauty, Mission: Keke Olisemeka from Style Your Selfie shares her story on this episode.

"We are all born to influence!"


Keke Olisemeka has a great deal of energy. She is a social influence strategist, entrepreneur and Founder/CEO of the The Global Style Your Success Project. This is a community for multi-passionate female entrepreneurs to design their Business | Life | Relationships according to their own idea of success. She has grown her influence with Style Your Selfie on Instagram and has partnered with national brands

  • The NFL
  • Ralph Lauren
  • Neutrogena
  • Rent the Runway

She is now on YouTube with Style Your Selfie with Keke
Shop her Looks Here =)



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Speaker 1:

Hello. Hello and welcome to in the rising podcast. My name is Betina brown, and this is the platform I've chosen to talk about living a life that's in alignment with your hopes, your dreams, and your, and I love to share stories of other people, especially women. I'll be partial who have just overcome so much. And my guest today, Kiki old Lisa me is an immigrant is a mother is an entrepreneur is now a CEO and is just leading the world with her following on style of your selfie on Instagram and just living her own life and light and sharing that. And today she shares with me how she got from point a to point B. And I'm so excited that you were gonna hear her today. I, I am thrilled. I am really thrilled, am honored, and I , anytime I get to speak to a woman, who's follow her dream. I feel like I'm in the presence of someone just lighting up the world with that internal light that we need more of. So it fuels my soul to talk to you today, Kiki, and you have like a whole list of stuff that you do. You're, you know, a social influencer and entrepreneur, and you're also a founder and CEO of the global style, your success project, you know, a movement and community for multi passionate female entrepreneurs. And I'm, I am a female. I'm a little more partial towards our <laugh> or anyone who identifies as such share with me. You know, of course we don't have that . Of course we don't have hours to go into this, which we should <laugh> . But share with me how you got to this place where you are today, you know, like where you feel, where you feel this pull to help other women, other entrepreneurs.

Speaker 2:

Um, so I, I think I would say that I've always had that. I just didn't know it. Right. And it's when you look back on your stories, cuz you know , sometimes you have to take inventory and you realize, oh my goodness, I actually have been doing this. So in my , um, in my twenties is when this narc Ole started. So, and I've been Battl now for 25 years. So , um, but I remember, you know, like coming out of college, it's always very ambitious and it , I just thought like I'm about to be on the cover of lots of magazines. <laugh> that was like, that was my one goal. And I loved to work and I was very curious and I always like had this thing where I could teach myself stuff. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so when I came outta college and you know , bear in mind that I'm also an immigrant, not sure if I'm first generation or whatever, but you know, like <laugh> , I , I am. And so there's a learning curve , you know , it's , it's actually quite different if you're not born here and you've lived here, I've been here since I was 18. I've been here for 32 years, but still it's just, this there's something. So , um, came out college and just knew , all right , let's go look for , for this whole career thing. And I was a receptionist <laugh> and then I went to a party and I saw my peers and they were all working like in corporate professional jobs, being analysts and engineers. And I knew they were making way more than me. And I just thought, well, something ain't right , I'm gonna have to fix this situation. And less than a month, after going to that party, I had gotten myself a job as an analyst at MCI . I'm not sure if you, I do <laugh> oh yeah . I , I done prepared, done everything, got into MCI and I just said to myself, oh my goodness, they let me in. And the next thing I turned and I told my twin sister, I'm gonna get you in here. And in a week she was working there. And then I turned to my cousin. I'm like, I'm gonna get you in here. And then the week she was working there and then a friend of mine. And so I've always, always had this whole, well, first of all, we're gonna try something. Like I love trying something new and always like aspiring to be more. And once I get there, it's like, well, it's no fun. If you at least don't have your friends and your girlfriends around. And, and that's what I did. And so like in less than a month, who were four of us working there and I wasn't Matt at the little bonus they gave me. Um, and then from there, of course, MCI had this big , um , you know, MCO was always laying people off. Mm-hmm <affirmative> I think I was one of the ones that were laid off because that was the onset of nay. And it didn't make any sense because I, I thought this was the job that I wanted. Why can't I stay awake? I didn't know what it was. And so, and, and the, the, unfortunately what happens is sometimes I fall asleep and I don't know that I fall asleep. Mm . So I could be having this conversation with you. And you're looking at me weird, and it's not until I say something in a appropriate . And I realized that I fallen asleep asleep . So I'm thinking they probably walked by my desk and thought what lazy bum . So I made one of the cuts of the whole , um, lay off , although my boss really loved me. And after that I was offered a couple different, like , you know , temp positions then temping was very, was very popular. Really mm-hmm <affirmative> and every company I , I worked in, they liked me, but I couldn't stand just because I was falling asleep. I was convinced it was because I didn't like this whole systems. I wanted to be able to just talk to people, you know, do so I literally got to a point where I was offered almost twice what I was making. I mean, that's how much I'd taught myself, like the systems and understood what was going on, but I didn't want that. And then one day I went to , um, one of these , um, search firms to look for a job. And the girl that was interviewing me, like, I literally fell in love with her. She was so happy, so upbeat. And I just thought, I want this job. Yeah. And they said, oh my gosh, I'm I'm long winded. <laugh> they said, no, I fought for six months to get that job. And I got that job. And the first time I placed someone in a new position, I just knew, this is what I wanna do. I wanna give people something. They never knew. They always wanted mm-hmm <affirmative> . Cause I took her, she was a VP actually like out of her job. And I got her almost a 50% increase. Cause I kept fighting with my client. Like I don't wanna come back with something measly. Right. And so I positioned my clients and all that. And when I placed this lady, she darn near said what? And that's when I just knew like, oh my gosh, I love giving people stuff like, you know , like with jobs and all that, making them happy and helping them get what they want. Um, but anyway, just fast forward, we're at a place where I finally find out it's narcolepsy. It rubs me of my life for 20 years. A zombie at home sleeping literally of was 20 hours a day, but managed to marry and have four kids instead of there . And then five years ago I was invited to a fashion. Um, show happened to be in Paris as someone's plus one. And there sitting inside of a fashion show, I woke up. Mm <affirmative> . The experience was like, I was sweating the blood vessels, like everything was jumping in every direction. And I realized that I had been numb mm-hmm <affirmative> that I was just barely surviving, no such thing as thriving and all that. That was in 2016 . In 2016 . I did not know what a blog was. I did not know too much about Instagram. I thought it was for the Kardashians where they, they , they posted ridiculous looking pictures. I didn't know what filters were. I just thought, what are these pictures? But I came back from that show because I was talking to this girl that I met there and she had her whole life planned out and I was looking at her. And for the first time I realized I didn't have a plan. Didn't have anything to look forward to. Didn't really have a life, like nothing exciting . I was just functioning. And when I came back, first thing that occurred to me was a blog. I bought like a $97 thing. And the very next month I had a blog. Um, but not before I fought the biggest bout of , of imposter syndrome. Mm-hmm <affirmative> , which I did not know what that word was because I've always grown up confident. What I didn't know is that 20 years of battling a condition where your body betrays you on the regular many times a day, it does that to chip away at your confidence. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So when I, and I used to love fashion, but I was no longer, like I put on weight and all the different drugs and stuff that were throwing at me. So the first day I said, oh, I'm gonna do that. And I was supposed to do a photo shoot the night before, or the day before I went to my, I spent 11 hours trying to pick out one outfit out <laugh> oh yeah. As a good Christian woman, girl, I thought, oh, it's the devil throw in all his arrows, everything he has got at you. He told me to have all the seats, have several seats who said, you can dress aren't you? The one that said you were a fly on the wall. No one noticed you all of these things. But even through that, I didn't know that I had already like almost come up with some kind of framework for, because I just looked I , and by the 11th hour, and all I could do was a pair of white jeans <laugh> and a white bomber jacket for my 11 hours. That's all I had to . I said, you know what ? It's okay. And at that point I gave myself permission. I gave myself permission to be laughed at permission to be I ridiculed permission to be thought of as a fraud. Um, one thing I didn't say was as in the 20 years where this narcolepsy was taken over, you know, my twin sister and I were identical and always lived what I believe like power lives . Right. And even every job she's gotten I've for her. When I became a head hunter and she saw how much money I was making with a raging case of narcolepsy in my twenties, I was making six figures, like with , with a raging case of narcolepsy. She begged me, I got her into my company. So I've always gotten her every job, but we've always been, you know, like equal playing field . And it felt like in the 20 years , um, I used to say like we were at, if you look at a clock or we're at like nine and three and slowly everything just at the tip. And I just went all the way down to six. And while she went to 12 mm-hmm <affirmative> and it seemed like she was just on top, I could not recognize her. And I couldn't recognize myself so vast difference and people, and I'm not sure if it was my perception, but I pretty much know , like I was a nobody, the people. And you can imagine, like, I've not always been that, like, I've always been someone who's prided myself in just being confident out there, getting myself what I want. Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and now it's like, you walk in a room and no , no one notices. So all these things came back and like, well, how you gonna do it? You walk into the room and no one notices. And so I just have to tell myself it's okay . Permission to fail, laugh that permission for pool to say that you're trying to be, because if anyone was going to be the fashionist it's my twin sister. And so what business do I have? Um, and then the end , I looked in the mirror, I'm like, you know what, girl, you got this you're fabulous. You can, you can do this. And you know, I'm sure that there are women out there like you who are feeling some type of way, you know, who maybe they've had kids. They're just not where they , you know, they , they don't recognize themselves anymore. So the I miss of the whole thing was, you know , you can look at me and you can style your selfie. So for my blog, my passion blog, I go under style , your selfie. And that was just a thing. Look at me and know what to wear , because that's one of my biggest challenges. And I didn't wanna go anywhere because I never knew what to wear . Mm-hmm <affirmative> <affirmative> and then began , began this process and women led to respond the past five years. If I tell you the number of things that I've done in the past five years, where I've been, where I get recognized. And I just thought, you know, this imposter syndrome again, like I, I thought it was a devil. It wasn't maybe until about two years ago, but I was minding my business. I'm like, wait a minute. I wasn't the devil it's imposter syndrome. Mm-hmm <affirmative>

Speaker 1:

And that's so common. That is so common for people to feel very com competent in a skill, but especially going outside into something new , um, where, and especially where you're visible a blog or YouTube, but you know, in that , um, I , I , I heard some of your conversation that, you know, we are all diamonds. Some of us are just covered in coal and we feel, we identify as the coal , I think imposter syndrome is instead of identifying with the diamonds. Yeah . You you'll shine right through that.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And then we magnify what other people have and minimize. And so as we increase what someone else has, every time we do that, we decrease what we have mm-hmm <affirmative> and of course, you know, that , that, that, that comes from somewhere, you know, that that's and it's, and I , I think that some part of it, yes, it's in a critic is what we tell ourselves. And then there's also some other parts where you've been fed that. Um, so, and, and when you now get to a point of something you really want, cause I think it has to be something that's so important to you. Yeah . And I truly believe that most people who suffered are people who really have a lot to mm-hmm <affirmative> that's a good cause I don't . Yeah , absolutely . I have not seen one person cuz you've seen some loud and wrong people . So I truly believe that people who want to serve who have something to offer are the ones that get hit by this the most. Yeah. And for, and another thing is for every level, just like they said, new levels, new devils, maybe they were talking about imposer syndrome too. Because the one that you , that have attacks you in the beginning is not the one that attacks you at a different milestone. Yeah. So you just try to exercise your right to create and it's over. And unfortunately, sometimes we prepare for one and don't prepare for the other <affirmative> and get stuck. Like everyone else. Yeah. I have a question for

Speaker 1:

You though. When you said you, you met this, this person who kinda had her life planned out, you realized you didn't and then you're like, okay, boom, starting a blog on the role . Did you just kind of look at the next step after this step? Or did you already kind of like, you know what, this is my goal five years from now, 10 from years from now, how did you do that? Kiki ?

Speaker 2:

I somehow just knew this is beginning. Mm . Just start. I definitely knew it wasn't the end. I knew it was a means. And so I just started and sure . <laugh> with five months of doing that, I'm like, this can't be it. This can't be it <laugh> . So the very first time I was invited to speak, I think I was four months into this and I'm thinking to myself, no , don't, you know, take a look four months. Ain't no way I know what the industry is . And, and the lady, it was the head of the fashion group as an , as , as a whatever body. Um , it's actually an international body, like a fashion group. And um, they have a chapter in DC and she asked me to speak. I'm like, no, don't you see? I just started, she looked at me and she was like, you've got everything you need. Mm . And I spoke that night and literally got off the stage. All the established bloggers were there and I got down the stage and these women made like a dive and they were older women like consultant. I didn't know what that was. So, but it was just maybe some in a wisdom and intuition that I probably played down, but I spoke and some lady just came to me and she was like , I just wanted to know you were the most impressive on that panel. I was like, wow. But the psych , so it was the feed in the psychologic was more than any likes. Mm-hmm <affirmative> any engagement because I knew that something, I said, the , the lady who actually was , was the director of the fashion group came to me and she grabbed me and she was like, oh my gosh, I just got diagnosed with cancer. But listening to you, I know I'm gonna beat this cancer . And I was looking at her why ? Cause it's I was trying to figure out what I could have said <laugh> to inspired this statement. But, but in the past five years, I can't tell you how many times I've had experiences like that. Yeah. And so, and like a moment of fate and every time something happens, I have to kinda sit like what ? And so, and I have lots of conversations with God. It's actually very funny. Like thought it was a , what was going on? And he was like , uh , no, no, no, no, the fashion that's the drawer . That's the candy. And then you deliver the message. And so the message of the diamonds was given to Nick three years ago was like, Ooh , it's too much. It's three years ago. It's like my daughters, they're not doing what they're under performing . And of course, when we under perform , we don't get as much as we're supposed to have. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so see, I actually believe like you , you you've heard of a term create economy. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and the first time I heard, I burst out Latin , when I just thought, finally, we are in the economy of the one who created us and inside of this economy, there's no cap . The truth is we're all creators. We've always been, the question is what are you creating ? Some people create a right mess . I've done a few of those myself . I, oh , I'm a , you know, I used to be, I don't wanna belong there once in a while. I'm a Tru good doozy, but I've done that. But we are always creating the question is, are we consciously creating or are we going along? Are we shipped ? Just moving and letting stuff happen to us? Or are we out here being intentional and sitting down and thinking and doing, but are we creating? Absolutely. When I, a few years ago inside the throes of Narcy and where I felt like a liability, like there's nothing else I have to offer this world. I watched a program and it was about this inventor. And he talked about how these inventions wouldn't leave him alone. Mm . Like kept pulling was drawn to it multiple. Like I'm like, so I remember thinking to myself , well , how fair is that ? Why would you give someone so much ? And one person cannot even figure out how to get up the door . What , what , what is that? And it wasn't until afterwards when I started this, that I went from being so unsure of myself, putting 11 hours to putting one outfit together, to me, literally outfits, putting themselves together. <laugh> in front of like, I would stop everything I'm doing. Go pull , pull a couple things. Like things I could never do on my own. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so that's to happen. But it wasn't just creating that. I said a clothing line in the process I created, I have a docu series . I have a eight episode that I woke up one morning and I just thought you should do a show. I <affirmative> . And a month later I had a crew and I was recorded . So, so I just thought, oh , we all have it. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but it's like every muscle you don't exercise it. It's latent. It's lazy. You exercise it. You multiply it. More things come to you. Yes. So we are in any economy. And I honestly now believe that it is our originality. It is our like, success comes from what you have, like what you've been given, whether it's one thing, five things , 10 things, you know, like the , the , the power of a talent . Some , he gave one , some, he gave 10, whatever it is. Right. And if we use that, it makes room for us. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but we've been taught to be multiple different variations of the same thing. And so we get into the, a struggle and everybody is in a fight to be the same thing. Yeah. Because it's too scary to be original. Yes. And that's where style your , um , style your success came from because I personally believe, and I know it's like, success should be like, according to your own voice , you get to style it. What style style is can be a , now it's a verb. It's the way you do things. It's what works for you. It's the way that you were created. Right. So , so you , you get to my husband just so you get to , um, you get to create it. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And so now, like I came up with this whole formula for success. It's like your style plus soul, which is what is inside you, that gift plus strategy and then steps. That's how you get your own version of success.

Speaker 1:

I like the idea of that, your style of success is different. It's not just the success, the houses, the, whatever, you see the same images. Right. Or that some person's success can be the adventures , um, rock climbing without any, any equipment. <laugh> , that's their version of success. Yeah . Yeah . And they're not interested in other things. And that is okay . That is,

Speaker 2:

And that is OK . And, and it's when you get to that point that I believe like liberation actually comes. Right. I grew up in a family, I've got four sisters who were five, always love fashion. This , that I have one sister who is so <inaudible> , <laugh> everything about her is high class. And at first I thought I wanted that until I'd see the same people over and over again and not remember them . And I'm thinking to myself, it's your memory that bad . I'm like, well , wait a minute in the whole inspirational coaching world , whatever . I remember people that must mean that I don't care for this as much as I thought, like I was supposed to. Yeah . And so now having the rights to say, that's great. I mean, I might hang around and stuff like that, but I'm not going to , this is not, this is not my life. This is not what fills me up. Yeah. This is not what makes me, and we've all been given hours . And , um, but unfortunately, you know, a lot of people just don't people just fight to be the same person

Speaker 1:

To be everybody else or what those roles are. Yeah . I'm gonna pause real quick, cuz I have a big, but I have to plug my computer in because I think it's plugged in, but I don't think it's in the , Take all this with anymore . <laugh> why not? <laugh> um , what , what I would ask you is at this point, what would you, what do you tell women that's important for them to rise up? Cuz my podcast is in the rising, as you're in the rising , what would be one or two things that you would just love to share to other women?

Speaker 2:

I believe it starts with , um , self knowledge , self mastery. If you don't know yourself, then everything you are getting is just a version of what's you've been told. And so I like on my Instagram page, I've got Kiki 2.0 the 2.0 because in the 1.0, where , who we're told are 2.0 is where you find yourself 2.0 is where you actually are excited. You wanna see yourself. And when you, when for me, it's like , when you find yourself, you fall in love with yourself and you double down, you become more of yourself because that's exactly what you were created now. <affirmative> that informs everything. Because if you don't know who you are, people end up in the wrong relationships. People end up going after things they never wanted. Mm-hmm <affirmative> you are in a trans . So when you start to know yourself is when you are like, okay, true self . And then you start to ask yourself, what do I really want? Yeah . And then having the courage, you know, to become that person. And so that really my , my , my mission part of this is not just helping people like style their success, helping them name it, what that means to them, trying to unearth that gift recognize . Right. But all also inside of this whole process is you start yourself. You figure out who you are. The second portion that I believe holds us up. And part of why we have this imposter syndrome is because we don't make this efforts . We , we don't become the person that we want to be. So that's the second part of what I do is literally help people create the character, create the new identity that represents because most of us, we want something so bad, but we're still in that old identity. <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative> that is really what to me causes this whole imposter syndrome. And inside of that whole identity, of course we're comparing ourselves, whatever. So there has to be an intentional creates creation of a new identity, more empowered identity, an identity that looks more like where you are going. <affirmative> right. Yeah. I , I think that's like the ground level. Otherwise most of us run straight to the strategy, the tactics, all those things. And wonder why one, we either have like this failure to lunch, afraid to go out or you go so far and then you have to stop because that particular step was missing. It's like the , the three of the pigs building your house on sand sticks at some point it's going to fall. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Yeah . You have done amazing things. A docu-series from MCI to style your selfie building <laugh> you know, and being a mother and being a wife, you know, these are all very important parts of our wheel of life. Where do you see yourself rising up to next? What do you feel on the horizon for Kiki still?

Speaker 2:

Wow. Um, so for me, right now, the mission is to liberate, empower and equip as yeah. Equip as many women as possible to , to become who they are and then add massive influence to who they are. The world is changing rapidly. Yes. And so the more of us, you know, like with all the breaking down, all the barriers and stuff, there's no , there's no barrier to entry anymore to the market. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . And so what does that mean? It's a lot more people. Well, that means that you have to have a personal brand. You have to have some kind of influence. And once again, it's teaching people like what that looks like and how to create influence so that they're easily recognized. They're like top of mind, they're seen as the influencers, they understand even what that means and how , how infinite the , um, wealth creation and opportunities are once you take off. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love the idea of liberate and power and it liberate just means throwing off those shackles, thrown off that dust thrown off that syndrome. It does not mean that doubt is not there, but it means, you know how to face it. Right? Yes. Um , and so I think you're

Speaker 2:

Doing, and you're even prepared for it.

Speaker 1:

You're prepared. And I think that was , there was even a sermon that said, you know, life is full of punches. The one that gets you down is the one that you thinks never coming <laugh> it , it

Speaker 2:

Is coming prepared for it. Because when I was in , when I was a head hunter , when I got that job, the first thing they did was send me off two weeks for training . Now I happened to be the last person that was hired into that company under just that company name . Because very shortly after I was hired, they had a merger within the company. Mm . So I had the luxury of two weeks where I was prepared for anything and everything that could happen. They even talked about relationships hours when you would feel low to so many different things. So I came back like, let me add , 'em like , I'm ready for this job. And then we had the merger and they were trying to, you know, fill seats and all that. I remember sitting, cuz we all used to be like in this big, old bullpen, loved that job. And right next to me in a year of being there, cause I could only work for a year before I had to like narcolepsy is no way I could work anymore in a year. I've been at that job. 60 people came and went. The only difference is that they were not primed and prepared and trained for the journey. <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>

Speaker 1:

Yeah,

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And it's not just the training of the job itself, but the emotional, psychological, all those things. And I mean, the stories, we were told, all the different things to expect. We knew that it was, you know , rocket science told what different people in the company, the guy failed so badly until someone spoke to him and next thing, he became a $3 million . And that was the only difference is that none of those guys had the benefit of being going through that training mm-hmm <affirmative> . And so it is equipping someone. So even if you are becoming an or , or whatever it is, it's good to know what's coming at you, psychological, whatever it is . And so when it comes, you're like, ah , okay . I was told here

Speaker 1:

It's <laugh> I was waiting for you <laugh> to, to show up good or bad, you know? Yes . Where , um , in perspective and really knowing what the journey is like, because I think that's where changing jobs, entrepreneurship starting a business. There's so many unknowns. Yeah . Just in general that I don't feel that everyone, that the percentage of failure of like stopping is only due because people aren't interested it's you yourself are putting a lot into that to, to me . And you don't deal with mentors as much anymore, but I was mentored in my own career

Speaker 2:

That ,

Speaker 1:

That now I'm like, who's men , who's helping you, you know? And it's just like, you're done go. And I'm like, that's why it fails. That's why companies , um, don't do as well. Even if it's a new MCI , you know our,

Speaker 2:

No . And , and it's funny, part of you were asking what I wanted to do . Part of what I wanted to do is have like this huge community of women so they can get support. Mm-hmm <affirmative> they can get, you know, resources. They they're maybe in smaller pods, just something where they feel like they belong because they can see what happened with COVID. And one thing we know is, no, one's an island , it's the fastest way to get taken down, taken out. But if you've got people that you're talking to, and sometimes it's actually easier to talk to someone like you don't know who hasn't been a friend and all that, you can really bear what's going on. Yeah. Sometimes it's easier and, and, and they can help you ride through, through stuff that maybe you would've acted like irrationally or I , whatever it is. But you get to have people to do life with mm-hmm <affirmative> in a different way and they can actually help you write those waves apply . Absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Someone listening to this podcast today is like, I wanna get to know that's Kiki <laugh> how can they find you learn from you? How can they connect with you? Get in your programs, et cetera .

Speaker 2:

Okay . So I have , um, a website. So the global style success , um , project, I'm actually in the process of completing that website right now. I'm on Instagram and my Instagram is style your selfie . I like to have fun. <laugh> well , I not add fun into everything. Style yourself is style your selfie. And um, yeah, that's where I do my fashion <affirmative> and um, but my, my big heart, like I said, my assignment, my mission is just to help women come into their own to have the courage. It's the number one thing I get asked, you know, I mean, even though it's a fashion page, my DMS are always, how are you able to do what you are doing? And they mean it like, cuz I , I have I'm originally from Nigeria. And so I have lots of Nigeria women that follow me, but just in general because, and , and when they say that, I know what they're saying means like, why didn't you believe all the restrictions? Mm-hmm <affirmative> why didn't you play your part? <laugh> right. Like who told you, you could do this out here with a husband of four and four kids. Cause I travel. I do. And I think that women want to be seen, want to express themselves fully mm-hmm <affirmative>. But I believe that they can't and this regime that they're in and that tells them that this is, you know, you gotta be realistic and do the right thing, whatever. Um, and of course, a lot of them are not doing anything because they're very few models for just going out there and doing what you want to do and be successful. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and there's no roadmap . And that's the steps that I was talking about when you have strategy and steps. And so that's what I wanna be able to give people is like a blueprint roadmap so that they know that, okay, I , I want to, I don't wanna do what I'm doing anymore or I want to do this. What does that look like for me? Yes. Yeah . And then <affirmative> , there's a roadmap and they can have some confidence, at least that they've done what they can. Right. And then also, you know, I could talk about stuff like failure and like let's embrace it. There's no such thing as women, just too many things. But it's the number one thing that I see and for me it's painful. So I know I actually know how they feel like I can hear the pain in their voices. They just wanna break out of what they're doing, but they're afraid maybe someone think they're frivolous to me . You can imagine an attorney who's making already six figures. Maybe she wants to be an influencer. And <inaudible> like, you must be crazy. <laugh> yes . So just things like

Speaker 1:

That. Yeah. And I think what's great with the community that you're working on building is that when you, when you work with people that are not able to see your vision, they'll try to pull you at their level of vision. And that's not, that's not bad their level, but it's not yours. And I like how you framed your sentence. My mission, my assignment is this. And when we believe we have a mission and a, a purpose, it's amazing. That's when the light turns on.

Speaker 2:

Yeah , absolutely. Yeah . That's very scary. Still. <laugh> super scary, but you know, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 1:

Kiki shared so many. I always called them golden nuggets about her own feeling of imposter syndrome, how we are all born to influence. And so if we just change our mindset, knowing right now you are influencer. Maybe you're not getting paid a million dollars to post something on social media, but you are influencing people. You are influencing people because we are always watching, right. We always observe even when we don't see it. And so I hope you take your opportunity today to influence people, to live their own life, your light, and continue to move forward. Thank you so much for listening to in the rising podcast. It is such a pleasure to present this. And it's an honor that you listen. And if you felt today's podcast was something that's beneficial for someone, you know, I request that you share it because the more hands and ears that we put podcasts such as these in the better we all are. And until next time let's keep building one another up.